No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
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It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
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The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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