I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
