he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
