There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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