I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
