I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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