If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
