I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
