and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
