I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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