I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
