It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I believe in your delicious
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
