The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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