I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
