Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
