Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
