I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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