Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
