I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
