It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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