I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
