i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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