worst night to have a conscience
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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