Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
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