So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
