i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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