farters have to be the big spoon...
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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