it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
