I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
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Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
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pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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