just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
