How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Randomize
