you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
