i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
