Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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