Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
