It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Randomize
