My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
