I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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