hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
