I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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