Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
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There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
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From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now