Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(906): View more from Michigan

so... i had sex tonight

(906): View more from Michigan

with a midget

(906): View more from Michigan

nicccce tits for a little person

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(906): so... i had sex tonight (906): with a midget (906): nicccce tits for a little person http://tfl.nu/2uyc

Replies (1) Good night (1481) Bad night (715)
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(248): View more from Michigan

My bottle opener just broke off in the cork

(248): View more from Michigan

They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts

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(248): My bottle opener just broke off in the cork (248): They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts http://tfl.nu/wcrk

Replies (5) Good night (820) Bad night (1091)
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(206): View more from Washington

This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.

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(206): This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/tgbz

Replies (11) Good night (3005) Bad night (872)
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(847): View more from Illinois

Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.

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(847): Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free. http://tfl.nu/2six

Replies (42) Good night (9969) Bad night (1776)
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(770): View more from Georgia

Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?

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(770): Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead? http://tfl.nu/xbgb

Replies (29) Good night (2386) Bad night (4830)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???

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(717): Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK??? http://tfl.nu/2k2z

Replies (13) Good night (3676) Bad night (1391)
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(585): View more from New York

i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.

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(585): i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope. http://tfl.nu/beur

Replies (5) Good night (2644) Bad night (854)
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(503): View more from Oregon

some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'

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(503): some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?' http://tfl.nu/rnao

Replies (12) Good night (3931) Bad night (1146)
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(513): View more from Ohio

Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.

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(513): Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night. http://tfl.nu/vga8

Replies (8) Good night (2338) Bad night (673)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."

(401): View more from Rhode Island

I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.

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(508): This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies." (401): I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are. http://tfl.nu/26v4

Replies (17) Good night (5212) Bad night (955)
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(435): View more from Utah

Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.

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(435): Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday. http://tfl.nu/eusa

Replies (4) Good night (973) Bad night (480)
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(415): View more from California

You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.

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(415): You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink. http://tfl.nu/i804

Replies (1) Good night (419) Bad night (1161)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...

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(814): I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before... http://tfl.nu/3no3

Replies (3) Good night (830) Bad night (539)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.

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(864): I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide. http://tfl.nu/p1xg

Replies (7) Good night (1062) Bad night (422)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.

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(201): Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us. http://tfl.nu/sjtk

Replies (1) Good night (496) Bad night (345)

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