ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.