Texts From Last Night

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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.

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  (201): i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms. http://tfl.nu/0e58
  Replies (8) Good night (4423) Bad night (663)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am

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  (610): i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am http://tfl.nu/0mrv
  Replies (6) Good night (4870) Bad night (818)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month

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  (360): Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month http://tfl.nu/vjm5
  Replies (16) Good night (2095) Bad night (3824)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.

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  (508): the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell. http://tfl.nu/o2wo
  Replies (12) Good night (779) Bad night (5957)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.

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  (732): Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered. http://tfl.nu/wcxh
  Replies (5) Good night (3208) Bad night (711)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.

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  (240): I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks. http://tfl.nu/t0i5
  Replies (13) Good night (3604) Bad night (1187)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.

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  (780): I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815. http://tfl.nu/p37f
  Replies (3) Good night (3513) Bad night (1005)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger

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  (802): I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger http://tfl.nu/yrot
  Replies (9) Good night (2353) Bad night (926)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"

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  (860): We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no" http://tfl.nu/13gy
  Replies (7) Good night (2382) Bad night (933)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now

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  (+44): I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now http://tfl.nu/a890
  Replies (3) Good night (1249) Bad night (557)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.

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  (813): For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club. http://tfl.nu/n6ph
  Replies (18) Good night (619) Bad night (1525)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?

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  (706): He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom? http://tfl.nu/9suz
  Replies (32) Good night (1436) Bad night (4840)
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  (418): View more from Quebec

  You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner

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  (418): You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner http://tfl.nu/wvf5
  Replies (6) Good night (868) Bad night (362)
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  (925): View more from California

  I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission

  (925): View more from California

  Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol

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  (925): I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission (925): Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol http://tfl.nu/zmin
  Replies (10) Good night (1834) Bad night (486)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.

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  (778): Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded. http://tfl.nu/lwdx
  Replies (2) Good night (684) Bad night (194)

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