Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.

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(734): I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians. http://tfl.nu/rppl

Replies (118) Good night (38636) Bad night (1575)
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(417): View more from Missouri

Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable

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(417): Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable http://tfl.nu/hmli

Replies (14) Good night (5492) Bad night (885)
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(931): View more from Tennessee

I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.

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(931): I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s. http://tfl.nu/244n

Replies (12) Good night (3008) Bad night (1008)
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(773): View more from Illinois

Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.

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(773): Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys. http://tfl.nu/y8cg

Replies (2) Good night (2208) Bad night (602)
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(541): View more from Oregon

Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.

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(541): Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room. http://tfl.nu/wcn9

Replies (7) Good night (2798) Bad night (656)
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(314): View more from Missouri

Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.

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(314): Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them. http://tfl.nu/ibul

Replies (5) Good night (3472) Bad night (623)
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(503): View more from Oregon

I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.

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(503): I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs. http://tfl.nu/skdm

Replies (6) Good night (688) Bad night (1542)
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(716): View more from New York

He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.

(585): View more from New York

Find him and marry him.

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(716): He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night. (585): Find him and marry him. http://tfl.nu/d6kn

Replies (5) Good night (2371) Bad night (622)
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(907): View more from Alaska

I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single

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(907): I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single http://tfl.nu/2snv

Replies (3) Good night (463) Bad night (995)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.

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(505): Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels. http://tfl.nu/3182

Replies (3) Good night (310) Bad night (818)
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(616): View more from Michigan

I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.

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(616): I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once. http://tfl.nu/2lkb

Replies (6) Good night (582) Bad night (274)
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(44): View more from United Kingdom

Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?

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(44): Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops? http://tfl.nu/g9tn

Replies (4) Good night (827) Bad night (260)
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(214): View more from Texas

I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.

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(214): I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7. http://tfl.nu/9u2f

Replies (2) Good night (501) Bad night (285)
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(817): View more from Texas

If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink

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(817): If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink http://tfl.nu/nuwv

Replies (1) Good night (668) Bad night (288)
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(+52): View more from Mexico

I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth

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(+52): I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth http://tfl.nu/hxek

Replies (2) Good night (275) Bad night (583)

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