just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
