Im at strip club and am horny
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Randomize