big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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