The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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