I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
