what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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