Your face is a jimmy john
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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