I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
