Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
