a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
