i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
