I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
