If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
